Apparently there is such a fruit. They are about the size of gooseberries (or extra plump grapes) and look like kiwis. There was a moment right before I dug up the courage to pop that whole thing in my mouth, when the fruit was sitting in my hand in all its bizarreness, that I hesitated. It is a pretty odd looking little thing. But I got over myself. And they are sweet and amazing.
I don't know why I have never found them commercially in the United States, but it could very well be the reason why I remain in Europe forever.